Heya people! Long time no talk!

I have a lot to fill you guys in on, but I think I shall leave that for another time when i have like 3 hours to write a post.

Anyway, I am going to be attending the New York Anime Festival here in NYC in September and I can't wait!!!

My cosplay is going to be funny. I'm going as a gender-bend Hibari. I'm going to have an insanely short skirt, as well as his jacket. Instead of having a hibird (because i was lazy and couldn't make one) i'm going to have an enzio on my shoulder wearing a bow. I need to find a Dino to take pictures with.

!!!

Anyone going, lemme know! I will be posting pictures up on here soon with my cosplay because i plan on going to philly with my friends to have our own photoshoot. XD

Also, i need to make tonfas. anyone have any expertise on making weapons??? HELP.

I love you all and thanks for worrying about me! I'm not dead yet!

<3 <3 Nikki <3 <3

Heya pplz is anyone going to Otakon???

I AM. And i wanna find others going so we can meet up. ^_^


I'm going as... Kallen from Code Geass in her Black Knight uniform... <3

It seems I'm always saying that, ne?

But seriously. I've just been simply swamped. The situation with my parents has escalated to custody hearings. (That really doesn't affect me, being 18, but it affects my 16 year old sister.) They had their first mediation hearing today and I need to make my choice by tomorrow afternoon, when I need to announce that I do not wish to stay with my mother.

NOT something I'm looking forward to. At ALL.

Well. So much stuff has happened in the past 8 weeks that you don't know about...

1. I GRADUATED! No longer a high school student. I'm now in college. ^_^ It's an interesting fact... I'm going to be commuting to my college because i do not have the money to stay in the dorms. At graduation however, my parents didn't stay. But that's a rant for another time.

2. I saw Transformers!!! I saw it at the 12 am showing and i saw it in Imax about a week later. ^^ It is FANTASTIC. I downloaded the score and i now own the bootleg. (SSSSH haha ^_^)

3. I got photoshop again! I just need to install it, which is still gonna be difficult because my computer is still crap.

4. I got a laptop from my uncle for graduation! It's the newest generation of MacBook Pro's. (My photoshop isn't compatible with a mac, but i'm gonna get it soon.) Hey... you know whats interesting? I have wifi set up everywhere else BUT my house. That's saying something.

5. I strained my arm two days ago. (prob why i fail at typing now. its difficult to type with a splint on.) I was trying to start a lawnmower that my mom flooded and after the seventh pull, the string got caught on the fan wheel or something, which wrenched my arm, twisting it, pulling it in the opposite direction that i was moving. It completely strained all the muscles in my right forearm. Which stinks. Cuz now i can't draw.



Well, speaking of, my arm really hurts now so i have to stop typing. I love you all and thanks for listening! ^_^ <3

Okay to finish up my last post:

8. Okay. I finally get home, right? Around 5:30pm. Yeah. Neither doctor ALL DAY took my temperature, which is not 103.6, okay? Here's the series of events.

Sister: Mom, Dad, take Nikki to the hospital.
Dad: She'll be fine once she eats.
((Don't forget here that my FREAKIN TONSILS ARE TAKIN UP HALF OF MY THROAT. Ahem. Continue, please.))
Sister: UGH. *gets fed up and goes on computer*
Me: *trying my best to swallow chicken broth (my breakfast/lunch/dinner for the day)* ow...ow...ow... mom can i have the pain pills?...ow...ow...
((try to remember the needle i talked about. Yeah? well, it made my tonsils even more swollen than before, so life sucks about now. I can't really talk. I'm whispering here.))
Dad: You have to wait until you eat more.
***Around 6pm***
Me: *only had 3 more sips* Can i have it now?
Mom: yeah, sure, here. *gives me my steroid for the swelling (pregnazone), my antibiotic (cleocin), and pain pill (tylenol 3 with codeine)*
Me: okay yay. Imma lay down now. *lays on couch*
Dad: *comes over and puts washcloth on my forehead* better?
me: not...really... I feel weird...
Dad: Ah its probably the meds kicking in... *goes*
Me: maybe...
Sis: *off computer now mom's on it* You...ok nikki? You look kinda confused.
Me: Maybe its cuz my hands and legs are going numb and its getting difficult to breathe. feels like someone's punched me in the chest and is holdingtheir fist there so i can't breathe
Sis: oh shit. MOM DAD COME HERE
dad: *comes in yelling* Nikki breathe, you're hyperventillating. is it difficult to breathe!
Me: *nods*
Dad: in through the nose and out through themouth.
Me: I...can't...move...*cough*
((Now all my muscles have seized up and have stayed that way, like major muscle cramps. I can't even move my legs or my arms and my hands are clenched. And it's getting harder to breathe.))
Dad: Nikki just breathe.
mom: *comes in* what's goin on?
Dad: call 911 tell them to get an ambulance here asap!
Mom: *does*
Sister: *starts cryin* she should have gone to the hospital before like i said...
Dad: Shut up, we don't need your attitude!
Me: *thinking: she's right!!!*
((At this point, I have to force myself to breathe. It's easier NOT to breathe than it is to breathe. I know because at one point I was about to pass out. Let's just say I never closed my eyes to even blink until i was sure iwas fine.))
EMT's: *come surprising quick, and with my luck, both are probably 20 and are extremely hot and I'm not looking good* *do their stuff* can you move? walk?
Me: *breathes out word: no*
Emt1 (who i'm just gonna call muscles cuz that's all he was): okay, we'll bring in the stretcher.
Emt 2 (now dubbed blondie cuz his hair was awesome): yeah i'll get it. *runs out*
muscles: You're gonna be okay Nikita. We'll get you hooked up on oxygen and it will be easier to breathe, okay?
me: *infintesimal nod*
blondie: *comes in with stretcher* can you stand up?
Me: *thinking: i can't even move, blondie, what makes you think i can support my own weight?*
muscles: I don't think she can.
Me: *thinking: thanks.*
Muscles: *picks me up and puts me on stretcher* *straps me in* There ya go.
((When they had to straighten my legs because they were stuck in like a bent angle, it felt like they were ripping all the muscles in half because they wouldn't move.))

Okay, now I'm in the ambulance, la dee dah. When i could breathe again and slightly move, i made slight conversation with Muscles, cuz Blondie was driving the ambulance.

AAAAah i gotta get ready for school. I'll edit this later in my graphics class, if i can. if it lets me.

Heyy long time no talk,everyone. I'll fill you in on the last 3 chaotic, horrible weeks.

1. I went on my senior trip for school. (The good part.) I went to Disney World in Florida for Grad Night. (+ 4 extra, relaxing days.) It was amazing.

2. When i got home from floriday, i found my family in ruins. Yay me.

3. My birthday was on may 1st, by the way. I'm officially 18, therefore am an adult. (whoopee.)

4. On my birthday, I didn't relax once. I had to perform in my school's one act plays and stuff. So i also did costume and makeup. (Again.) So that took up all of my spare time.

5. i recently (since monday) developed tonsilitis for the first time in 16 years. It was bad. my left tonsil was swollen significantly to the poin it took up half my throat, so i haven't eaten since monday.

6. Yesterday i went to 3 different dr. appointments in the span of 4 hours.
Doctor 1: "Oh, you have an absess. I'm sending you to Dr. #2 so he can check it out."
Doctor 2: *after about 1 and 1/2 hours of paperwork to fill out since I'm an adult* "Oh, let me check. Here, this will numb your tonsil." Me: "OW IT BURNS." Dr.: "It's supposed to do that. I'll be right back in with the needle." *goes* Me: "Needle? WHAT Needle?!?!" *not that i have any problem with needles, normally, just NOT WHEN THEY ARE GOIN IN MY THROAT.* "Wait... the only thing numb is my tongue. My tonsil still hurts badly." *is now slurring cuz of numb tongue* Dr.: *comes in with huge ass needle* ((WAIT HERE IT COMES)) "This isn't gonna hurt a bit." Me: "WAIT I'M NOT NUMB" *still slurred* Dr.: "Open wide." Me: "Crap." Dr.: *sticks huge needle all the way into tonsil to back of throat* "Oops, not an absess. Back to Dr. #1." Me: "NOOOOOO"
Doctor 1: "Oops, sorry. Here's a pain pill and some steroids for you to take. Get better!"

7. I'm gonna have to finish this in a bit. Don't worry. I"m not even at the best part yet. ^_^

Heyy, all.

Just wanted to let you know that tonight, the shit is going to hit the fan.

Hard.

And I don't mean like in Airplane.

(though that movie was genius and hysterically funny. XD)

My parents plan to confront eachother about the divorce today. (my mom just found out that my dad plans on taking custody of me and my sister. UGH.)

It's not going to be pleasant. I'm not looking forward to coming home after work tonight.

Hey. Maybe I can sleep over my friend's house.

...

Nah. I need to do english homework.

While on that subject, has anyone read Heart of Darkness? It's the book I'm supposed to be reading now, and I wanted to know if it is worth my time.

Anyone? XD

Anyway, thank you so much for listening to me. I just want to hug you all for your support! (And it's right now when i really need it.)

Arrivederci!

haha, hold on. i'm having a random Katekyo moment.

I'm going to be 18... in 18 days. HIBARI!!! hahaha, yeah. okay. i'm done for now. sorry for the randomness of today.

Well, fuck.

Okay. It is 21 days until my 18th birthday and how do I get to celebrate?

By making sure my parents don't destroy eachother via divorce.

Woohoo. Wonderful, wonderful, day. *sarcasmsarcasmsarcasm*

UGH.

Anyway, I just needed to rant. I've been up for 34 hours and 18 minutes straight. Yay. Delusion is starting to seep into my unguarded brain.


And i found out I probably have ADD. Heh heh. Another thing to worry about, ne?



Thanks for listening and sorry to bother you! <3

Don't ask about the title. My little cousin is singing it and has it stuck in my head. ^_^ Anyway, I'm at my uncle's house, laying down next to the coffee table in the living room while everyone else plays on the Wii above my head. ^_^ This is so fun. My aunt and uncle are versing eachother in Mario Kart and my aunt is winning on her first time.

Their basement is so cool. Remember when i said it was creepy? I spent about half an hour down there in a crawl space of concrete and dirt, rusty pipes and about a million old wine and whiskey bottles. It is so cool, but now i have dirt and a bunch of other unmentional dirty stuff stuck on the bottom of my combat boots. =_= Ew.

I want to go to Funtime America. I want to verse my uncle in One-on-One laser tag. XD I think I'd win, though. I have enough experience with guns and everything.

Oh, yeah, once again i have been hit by the disgusting monster called "writer's block." I can't write lately, but i have been drawing amazing pictures. Once i can find someone with a scanner, I will put some of them up so you guys can see them. (or maybe ill just take pictures with my digital camera and show you guys that way. I'm lazy , what can i say.)

I watched the Departed, yesterday, for the first time, until 2 this morning, with my uncle, mom, aunt, aaand...my sister. But my sister went to bed at midnight cuz she couldn't stay asleep. ^_^

Okay, i think i'm gonna give this laptop back to my uncle. See ya later!!!

Which I have proven that I'm good at.

1. Let's see... I'm in my graphic arts class in school and am in the middle of making a short comic. (Which i have drawn Manga style, btw.) Umm the first panel is just describing the setting as my school...the next panel says that it takes place in front of the school library (where a bunch of my friends and i stand before the bell rings signaling first period is about to begin.) and you just see me listening to music. The next panel shows my friend Sandra just popping her head into my field of view saying "Hi, little sister!" The next panel zooms in on my glasses where you can't see my eyes and A HUGE anime vein. then I turn chibi and yell "WHOAREYOUCALLIN'ARUNTSOTINYSHECANONLYBESEENWITHAMAGNIFYINGGLASS,YOUJERK!!!" Which I totally took from Fullmetal Alchemist. (Episode 5 i think...) And sandra goes all cat/chibi/cute and zooms out of there.

Random, i know. But i had to draw it. I got extra credit if it was about me at the school. *shrugs*

2. I'm really not used to mac computers. I'm on one now, and it is sooooo weird. o__O I've used windows all of my life, only to get to school and have to use a mac. Hehehe...

3. I'm quite uninspired lately... I wrote a poem but it turned out so damn dark until the end... and i don't know what i can do. the only things i can write now are dark... But i used up all of my inspiration on my last poem. DX UGH.

4. I'm glad for autodrafts. I'm going to continue this later when i get home.

5. Okay, i'm home and it's been 4 hours since I wrote #4. Haha I actually find that funny.

6. Apparently i'm going to sleep over my uncle's house (on a farm) tonight because my aunt and cousin are up from Virginia for the weekend. Oh, yay. I hope I get to sleep in their creepy basement. (I'm a sucker for scary shit.) I guess it will be cool.

7. I'm going out with my boyfriend today! For the first time, lol~ He's like me. He hunts, likes the military, etc. Problem is, i'm a year and a half older than he is lol. Not like that matters much, i guess, but it still feels weird. All of my other boyfriends were older than me. Hm. Maybe a change will be good~

8. AAAAaaand I'm watching Supernatural now on my DVR so I'm gonna go. TTYL!

And thanks for listening! <3

Nyeeehhhh I haven't posted a lot...

I think i shall bring yall up to speed. XD

1. My uncle's funeral went better than expected. I held it together until the Army National Guard folded the flag and saluted me and my family. UGH. THEN i cried.

2. I'm actually writing a story for DN Contest. ( I don't know how to make the html link for that, sorry! ^_^) It's called Better Than Apples. Or something like that... I'm making it from Ryuk's POV, and it is about Light going to his Father's grave a year after his death. That was the best I could think of for Flowers-this week's prompt.

3. It is hard to write in the POV of someone that is not human. o_O

4. I've just finished reading Kuroshitsuji and I have to say I LOVE IT. o__O My friend twentyfiveraven got me hooked on it. (GRRR...) Sebastian has to be the coolest butler ever. XD

5. My dad finalized everything with his lawyer... and he just told my mom that he has filed for the Divorce papers, so everything is happening soon. DX Unfortunately, in court, I'm going to have to choose between my mom and my dad. *grumbles*



Okay, I'm done for the day. I have to get back to school now to go to the Improve Workshop. I hope to hear from all of you! ^_^

~N.

Title: The Grief Response
Rating: Probably M for Mello's mouth
Characters/Pairings: Mello and Matt. Together, of course.
Word Count: 2,267
Notes: Beta'd by the lovely and talented twentyfiveraven</lj>.
Warnings: This was inspired by my Health Class of last year. We talked about the grief response and the different stages. I wasn't really paying attention, because all I kept thinking about was Mello and Matt and how it related to them. Let's just say, after writing this, I aced the test because there was no way I could forget any of the steps. The warning of this little rant is this: It probably will most likely make you cry.

( Almost as if the sky was crying. )

I'm just updating my life for you guys...

the only major thing I would like to tell you guys is that my Great Uncle Gary died on last Thursday at 3:40am. He smoked all of his life and had really bad cancer. It originated in his lungs and soon spread throughout his body. By the time he died, he changed so much (physically) that i could barely recognize him from all of my memories of him. I didn't get to see him in the hospital before he died, (I was supposed to go visit him Thursday night after work.) but that's what my mother told me. When I saw him three months ago, he had looked sunken, kind of like he was dying then. So I can only imagine what he looked like.

Tomorrow is his wake, and Monday is his funeral. I'm missing school, and this is going to be my first funeral that I've ever completely attended.

Problem is... I haven't had the time to cry yet, my life has been so hectic and stressful lately. So... this is going to hit me like a sack of bricks, isn't it...?

((Anyway, on a lighter note, I have to spend all day today in camoflauge and combat boots. I'm camping out with the Civil Air Patrol, but I'll give you details on that later.))


Thank you for listening, and I just want to ask that, no matter what religion you are, keep my uncle in your heart, head, and prayers.

~Nikki

Yeah, okay, I'm just testing this out. I did this on photoshop and wanna post it, but i need it to come up smaller.

Hey, all. It's been...2 weeks since I've posted on here! Wow, fail.

Ummm to fill you all in...

1. Two weeks ago I broke up with Vincent. He kept forgetting when we had dates, he was irresponsible, and couldn't drive, even though he was older than me. I drive. And I didn't want to have to be the pants in the relationship. At all.

2. My school's musical is coming up soon. I tried out, yes, but I didn't get any part besides "dancer." Granted, it's better than ensemble, but still. Oh well. So I am doing makeup crew, again. I was on makeup crew for the fall drama, so I have some experience. It's pretty cool actually. My friend, Cami ("Boobs", as my cousin Vicky calls her), and I are in charge of the crew. (Mostly because we have the loudest mouths and we are the least patient, so we always get things done in a timely fashion.) I'm in charge of barking orders. Yep.

3. I'm still a master sergeant in the Civil Air Patrol, I haven't gotten my Armstrong or Mitchell yet.

4. Ummmm...... Yeah, I got a new boyfriend. When I was painting the set for the play, my friend of 9 years asked me out. It was so cute!!! His name is Mike, but I call him "Monkey," mostly because he can make himself look like one. ^_^

5. I've gotten better at Photoshop!!! I actually know how to shade. I'll post the picture on here soon. It's a pic of Badou and Herbst from DOGS. I'll post the original on here then the edited one. ^_^

6. I'm on a laptop in my Forensics Class. We're supposed to be trying our best at bullet identification and matching the rifling impressions on the bullets and shell casings. But it's boring for me, because I finished the virtual lab yesterday. UGH.

7. Now I have nothing to do but rant. YAY!!!

8. My friend Vinny next to me is playing some really cool games on his laptop. I am intrigued. XD

9. Er... For all of those KHR fans that are friends of mine... HOLY CRAP DID YOU READ 233??? Whyyyyyyy are their motorcycles so cool, damnit!!! UGH. Now I cannot WAIT to get my motorcycle in May. XD

10. Ahem, also. When is it gonna get to Dino and Hibari??? They just left off with Dino coming back and talking to Hibari at the end of 231!!! And did you notice that he wasn't falling off the roof? maybe he got over the fact that he needs his family to get so kickass! Ugh. He's so hot.

11. On another note, ((Haha, forgive the Death Note reference.)) my laptop's number is 18. I shall name it Hibari. XD Or maybe Hibird... I dunno. All that I know is that my password to log on to my school system is dinohibari. I have no life... T_T

12. I'm gonna go surf some other sites. I'll talk to yall later!!! ^_^

NEED.

CAFFEINE.

NOW.


Explanation:

I gave up coffee. And chocolate. And everything else sweet.

For Lent.

It is only the first day and already I am feeling the withdrawal symptoms.

Anyway.

About that...

There's apparently this tag-thingy going around where, if you are tagged, you have to write a post about 25 of ur random facts, likes, or goals.

I have been tagged about 6 times and have only been putting it off longer and longer. *growls* But now i am going to actaully do it.

Okay.

( Clicky Here Please. ^_^ )

There ya go. I hope this satisfies people, haha. And, if you haven't done this already, you have been tagged!!! ^_^

I WAS RIGHT. I KNEW IT. AH HA!!!

Ahem. In case yall are wonderin what I'm "right" about...

I have bronchitis. I went to the doctors again and...tada, bronchitis it is. If the freakin doctors had told me that in the FIRST place, I would be better by now.

UGH.

*grumblegrumblecursegrumble*

I'm done now. Gonna work on photoshop to get my mind off of things.

♥

love yall!


PS: I love how my icon looks like me... o__O

Yup. I'm sick. Sicksicksicksicksicksicksick. On top of everything else I'm going through.

UGH.

1. The doctors say it's "just allergies." Impossible. I have allergies during the fall, so I know what allergies feel like. This isn't allergies. I think I either have Bronchitis or Pneumonia: Both of these I have experienced before.

((please do not mind me as I rant about the evils of doctors.))

2. I have had asthma since I was 5. Yep, asthma. Not the seasonal or exercise-induced kind. I mean full-on asthma: not being able to breathe and all that. However, 3 years ago my pulmonologist said I had "grown out of it." (Which is actually fairly common, I might add.) So I joined the Civil Air Patrol, went to bootcamp, etc. thinking I was safe from my disability. However, in lieu of recent events and my immediate sickness, my asthma has come back. Let's just say that I do not miss not being able to breathe on my own.

Stupid, stupid doctors.

3. I found out my asthma came back after my friend Marisol left my house. I went upstairs to clean up my room and- dun dun dun duuuuunnnnn- I can't breathe. UGH. Now, on top of that, I have a fever and cannot stop coughing every 30 seconds.

4. My best wishes go out to Marisol, though. She is sick as well. ((With the same thing as me, I might add, but without the asthma.)) <.<

5. I think my sister brought this virus home. Grr- *runs to find sister and strangle her*

6.Well, I'm off to go to the doctors. AGAIN. For the second time in the past 2 days.

7. *dies*

Okay. I'm so sorry I haven't been posting or keeping you all up to date or anything. I've been keeping myself busy. As in, not home at all. ((I've wasted so much gas lately just driving around... XD))

1. Wow, it's windy today. Where I live, right now there are about 50 mph wind gusts just tearing through the trees. It sounds so cool! I love the wind... The leaves are blowing around and around and around~ *gets dizzy*

2. Me numbering the stuff I want to say isn't neurotic...right? XD Because I know SOMEONE that continually calls me neurotic whenever I write a response letter to her notes because I bullet my responses. Anyway. That's besides the point. XD

3. I just had the MOST AMAZING FOOD EVER. My ex-boyfriend, John, went to GreaseTrucks with a couple of his friends and he bought me a cheesesteak sandwich, smothered in mozarella cheese, marinara sauce, french fries and mozarella sticks. IT. WAS. EPIC. The french fries and mozarella sticks were ON THE SANDWICH. It tasted so good... XDDDD I expect a heart attack in the near future for eating it, though...

4. Venom. That's the name of my new addiction. Venom. An energy drink that messes with my head so bad... I couldn't concentrate in AP Calculus because I kept giggling and laughing and talking. Me + energy drinks = Apocolypse. WITH ENOUGH CAFFEINE I COULD RULE THE WORLD. Yeah. And that was only with one drink. Tomorrow, John, (see above), is going to bring me TWO venoms. I want to see how my body reacts with a caffeine overload. XD

5. Ugh. Family situation is no better. I'll just leave it at that.

6. Today is my little sister's Sixteenth Birthday!!! WOOT!!! Happy Birthday Tasha! ((Though she doesn't have a LJ and she can't read this, I'm still writing it. Cuz I can.))



Okay, I have to get ready for work, so I'll ttyl, kay???


P.S. I dyed my hair!!! I'm no longer blonde! WOOT.

Yeah, the title has absolutely nothing to do with what I'm writing. I just have "Cassie" by Flyleaf stuck in my head. I was listening to it about a million times when I was shovelling snow.(Which took me about an hour and a freakin half, thank you very  much.)

Anyway, I have mucho news to tell yall. I shall start off with a random fact, then the bad news, then the good news. Then I'm just going to rant. (But i think i'll make the rant an LJ Cut just cuz it's going to take forever.

Okay.

1. Random Fact: I just got some really cool knee-high socks. And the one's I'm wearing now has green apples all over it. The ones that i had on yesterday had pink strawberries. XDDD

2. The Bad News: My dad just announced that he wants to divorce my mom after their marraige of 19 years. Sooo yeah. I'm probably not going to be on here as often, because I am now making every reason I can not to be home. I'm either: Studying with friends (which actually constitutes videogames and sugar), doing a project with my group for english class (my parents don't know if i have anything due or not, I don't talk to them.), taking my sister out randomly to anywhere she wants to go (mainly because we're a team and we both agree that being home is bad), or going to work or doctor's appointments that take up hours at a time. That's my new schedule and I will only be home when i know that both of my parents aren't there together or their not there at all. Yeah. I apologize extremely for anything I may miss (such as making banners and stuff) but I will work my harderst them whenever I get the chance. Normally I have the house to myself for about an hour after school before my sister or my dad gets home, so i will have to do EVERYTHING on the computer during that time period.

But I WILL get the banners done, I swear.

3. The Good News: It was a snow day today! Which of course means that I spent the day sleeping to 1000 hours and then shoveling snow for my house and my 3 neighbors' until...now, which is 1300 hours. I'm going to take my sister out for lunch with our friend now, so yeah.

4. I FORGOT NUMBER FOUR, AHHA. Yeah, More Good News: I got a boyfriend!!!~ His name is Vincent and he's a senior like me but he lives about half an hour away, which isn't bad at all~ I'm so happy because this is the second boyfriend that I've had in my entire 17 (almost 18) year existence. The first only lasted one date, so I don't even think that counts, HAHA.



you know what? I'm going to save the ranting for another day, because I'm going out to eat now.

I LOVE YOU ALL, THANKS FOR LISTENING!!!!!

<3